15 Questions To Ask Yourself

...Before Getting Into A Long-Term Relationsip

If you are or have been in a long term relationship, you probably understand the pains and pleasures involved. There are moments of happiness intermingled with bouts of doubt and difference of opinions between you and your partner. It has been seen that the in first few months or may be even in the first few years the couple is blissfully happy. They are head over heels in love with each other and cannot find any flaw in their mate no matter how hard they try.

When in a relationship, we badly try to rediscover ourselves. The questions like, “why we exist?”, “for whom do we exist?”, “does that person actually deserve me or do I deserve him/her?” keep gnawing at our thoughts. Also, the very thought of getting into a long term relationship with that person seems to cast us into perpetual tension and we spend sleepless nights trying to find the answers. The challenge we face is whether we would be able to put up with that person all our life or vice versa. 

If you plan to be in a long term relationship, you need to do good groundwork. Do not take this lightly, or you will find out the hard way that you should have done this early on. At the very beginning, you should be clear about what you want from your partner and what you think you can do for him/her, because it can take years to make a relationship cohesive, you must be up for the challenge and aware with the knowledge that it WILL be a challenge.

Some of the prime factors to consider for building the foundation of your relationship are communication, trust and respect. Take time and develop to these things for they are integral parts of your relationship and most often required to make your relationship work. Compassion is another essential element which you need to feel for your partner, this takes time to build, therefore, it’s important to spend quality time with your partner.

The very thought of being with this same person all your life might frighten you but give yourself time to review things and then, decide after you have had adequate time to assess your personal situation.

Below I have thought of a few questions you may want to ask yourself before getting into a long term relationship. These questions are but a few to get you to open your mind and think while going along on your relationship journey.

1. Are you both compatible? Are you ready to compromise to his/her and mindset?
2. Have you both spoken about your dreams and goals? If so, are they respected, acknowledged and appreciated?
3. Do you accept his/her family? Do you get along? If not, are you prepared to deal with the havoc of the situation?
4. Have you discussed your inner most intimate, private secrets? Are you ready to disclose that information to him/her?
5. Do you completely trust your mate?
6. Will this person respect your privacy and give you appropriate space for you to be an individual?
7. Would you be able to arise upon a joint consensus about how many kids you want?
8. Do you both have similar takes on how you would like to bring your child up and the disciplinary measures that you plan to adopt?
9. Will you be having separate bank accounts or a joint account?
10. What are your thoughts compared to his/hers on finances/saving/spending? How do you plan to manage your finances?
11. Who would be doing the housework?
12. Who would pay the bills?
13. Which one of you would be doing the grocery shopping and cooking?
14. Would you need to cut down on the time you spend with your close friends now? 
15. What are your sexual and physical intimacy needs?

Discuss these concerns and others you may have with your partner and get ready for an open dialogue about what you both expect from a long term relationship.